Hey, this man holds a bird like a cigarillo, while wearing the most confusing combination of eye-melters ever. He is serious about having many sharp features, whereas the bird dressed like a pair of shorts from the 90s. Serious.
(Submitted by Ashley)
Hey, this very small man is holding a bird while dressed like 90s boy band East 17. The bird itself is planning to change the television channel by staring at the remote control with intent. Serious.
Hey, Frank Bruno is so serious about holding birds he’s left no room for holding HP Sauce within his palms. His seriousness manifests itself in a stern look as he realises one of the birds has left a bum stain on his nice top. His grip tightens. Serious.
Hey, Max Fischer is holding this bird using his chin rather than the standard method of hand. He has lined up many other animals he regards as important, but has not yet held them. Serious.
(Submitted by Angela)
Hey, this man is so serious about bird holding that he’s employed his own shoulder to do most of the holding. He stares directly into the soul of the bird, desperate to read its thoughts like a feather book. He will not read its thoughts because A) He is not magic and 2) The bird has none of the thoughts. Serious.
(Submitted by Paul)
Hey, this man is holding a bird while he is keepin’ on rockin’. He is looking into the camera like “Yeah, you know it, son. I’m holding a bird and there ain’t shit you can do about that.” And you know what? He is right. Because this is a photo and it has already happened such is the nature of photography. Serious.
Hey, you may think this man is holding a bird by its neck because he plans to murder the bird but it’s because he loves it so much. The man is eager to know what love is, and he wants the bird to show him. Annoyingly, the bird cannot use its hands to remove the man’s clutches because it has no hands. Serious.
Hey, sometimes Salvador Dali would pay for meals by holding a bird while being serious, and people would be all like “Okay, Salvador Dali, but what about the money you owe us for this lovely casserole?” and Salvador Dali would be all like “Shazam” and disappear because he is real life magic. He once stood on a very big tower and froze himself in Times Square New York Manhattan America. Serious.
Hey, these men have won the championship for the best serious men holding birds awards 2001, and they have gone to a graveyard to celebrate. The three men in the middle do not have to be serious, because Happy Men Holding Trophies Awkwardly is another blog. The book-ending men are serious because they are holding birds. Serious.
